so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
