i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
