Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
