I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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