the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
