the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You're like the curious george of whores
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
