Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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