i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
