I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
