I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize