I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
