is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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