I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
