put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
