I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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