I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He has the fingertips of a God
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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