her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
