it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
