Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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