I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
