I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
