Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
