Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
