How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
