i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
