How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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