dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
