No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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