Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
