thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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