their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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