no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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