I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize