Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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