I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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