I want to have your abortion
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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