I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
