Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They took my balls.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
