There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
