Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
