i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
