Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
