I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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