i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
