Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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