I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
