My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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