Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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