your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
