so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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