I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
