It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
