So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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