Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
