Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
