you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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