i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize