I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
