So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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