I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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